Vending Machine: Hello, make a selection or one will be made for you. You have 90 seconds.

You: Two kidneys please. Universal. If that's still the deal--

Vending Machine: (Sponsored Content) Attention! Kidneys.

Buy one, get one free.

You:

Vending Machine: Two kidneys; Universal;

will that be all?

You: How much for a heart?

Since I'm here, anyway.

Vending Machine: Human, Sus, or Custom?

You: Which is cheapest?

Vending Machine: Human.

You: Can you repeat that?

Vending Machine: A human heart is cheapest, but fails more quickly. There is a replacement fee, as well. A resurgery surcharge. We also offer warranties. Refurbishments, too.

You: Any in stock?

Vending Machine: No.

You: I see. Sus, then?

Vending Machine: Inventory Available: 1.

You: How much, please?

Vending Machine: We offer financing.

You: That much, really?

Vending Machine: 44 seconds have elapsed. Please make a selection or one will be made for you. 46 seconds remain.

You: Tell me about it, I can barely breathe and I haven’t felt my heart beat since I asked you to repeat the thing about human hearts being cheapest...

I’m weak, getting weaker.

Can’t see, either.

One sus heart in stock, you said?

Vending Machine: Would you like to add the surgery or just the organs, taxes, and fees. We also offer warranties.

You: I usually don't, but, considering; yes, add the surgery. But just for me, the heart, my heart, that heart, please. The kidneys aren't mine, so shipping?

They are buy-one-get-one free?

Vending Machine: 10 seconds remain. Yes to both of your queries.

1 Sus Heart + Surgery

Recovery? The first night can be discounted considerably.

You: Free?

Vending Machine: No.

You: Two nights, then. Please.

Vending Machine: 1 Sus Heart + Surgery + Recovery

2 Kidneys, Universal with 1 Kidney Free

Correct?

You: Correct.

Vending Machine: How will you be paying?

You:

Vending Machine: How will you be paying?

You:

Vending Machine: Time's up. Session expired.

Deciding...

Deciding...

Deciding...

You:

Vending Machine: Attention!

Human Heart, back in stock!

(Limited inventory, no warranty, as is as seen.)

Next —

You:

Me: One heart. Please.